My teenage years were shrouded by a mist of depression, anxiety and self-loathing, but I found solace in nature and a passion for conservation. I grew up as a queer teenager in Kent at a time when the shadows of Section 28 still lingered, shaping the school curriculum and the general climate of what was acceptable. At a time when I didn’t have the language to describe how I felt, my connection with nature was healing. Nature was a space where I didn’t have to live up to any expectations and could simply be myself.

I’d always loved nature and being outdoors, but when I was around 15 I started volunteering with the Kent Wildlife Trust, helping with habitat management on a heathland. Volunteering made me feel part of something larger and through learning new skills and giving back to nature, my passion for conservation was born.

I remember going for walks while revising for my GCSEs and trying to put my new butterfly ID skills to the test. I found a speckled wood, each creamy spot on its wings glowing like dappled shade in a woodland glade. I found a female orange-tip and marvelled at the intricate mossy patterning on its underwing and noted the absence of the orange corners to the forewing that are only present in males of their species.

These interactions helped me to take notice of the amazing wildlife on my doorstep and find beauty in the everyday. It helped me want to have a future. I started researching courses where I could learn more about wildlife and conservation and my interest in butterflies eventually led to a PhD studying them.

I wouldn't want you to read about my experiences and think that nature alone 'fixed' all of my problems. Realising that nature is for everyone and that it doesn’t judge you, became a way for me to accept myself and to move forwards. Mental health is a journey, and like our physical health, it is constantly in flux. Nature has been and will continue to be there for me. Slowing down and spending time in nature is something that helped me immensely back then and is a core part of my self-care now.

In a way, it feels like I’ve come full circle to be in my role at The Bay. My love for nature was born from challenges in my life, and it is my privilege to share that love and appreciation of how nature can support wellbeing with others.

Butterflies are where it started, not least because they are a metaphor for transformation and that something so beautiful can be born from something else entirely. Our past doesn't diminish what we are capable of in the future. Change is always possible, sometimes you just have to give yourself permission to dream.